Many times the true mechanics of forgiveness are misunderstood. Forgiveness is one of the primary keys to a pure relationship with God and a successful Christian love walk. In order to have God's continued forgiveness, we must first forgive. This takes effort, faith, and a quality decision on our part. It is our duty; God is not responsible for our lack of forgiveness.

To say, "Forgive me," or, "I forgive you," is not enough. We must experience forgiveness in our hearts. Many times we "think" we have forgiven someone, but, when that person re-enters our life, we react in an emotional, unforgiving manner toward him. This should not happen if forgiveness has been extended.

Here is how we may judge our own heart. When we forgive someone, we give them the right to have fellowship with us in a pure, new relationship, not expecting "another incident" to occur. We are to be as friendly and loving as we were before the hurt or offense occurred. When we are truly walking in forgiveness, we stand before God pure, clean, and ready to receive all of his promises and blessings.

Contrariwise, when we relive the hurtful incident over, and over, having a negative emotional reaction, feeling the same anger, pain, and hurt that we experienced at the time of the offense, we are in unforgiveness. Unforgiveness will lead to resentment and, eventually, hatred, jealousy, or envy. Unforgiveness is a spiritual problem which will ultimately, through the years, have physical ramifications.  Jesus told Peter in 

Matthew 18:21-22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, " I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

Jesus simply said, "If we are counting the offenses, we are not forgiving because there is another step: Forgetting."  If we are counting the offenses then we are not forgetting them. To forgive is to forget. The Lord says in 

Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am he that blotts out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

God the Father forgets our sins, "for his sake." God wants to fellowship with us, he does not want to spend our time of fellowship recalling our sins. Do you want God to keep a tally of your sins, waiting for the time when he does not have to forgive you? Of course not! Once God forgives us he forgets the matter, and that is to be our standard, as shown in the following scripture.

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet; they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

This same principle applies to our relationships with others, Christian and non Christian alike. God wants us to enjoy fellowship, not to remember shortcomings and offenses of those who have hurt us. God wants us to see them as he sees them, a holy people, a royal priesthood.  

We sometimes find ourselves in a position where it becomes impossible to speak with the person we have not forgiven. In my own life, I found some of the people were either dead, or were so far removed from me it was not possible to contact them. It is also possible that the person is not aware he or she has caused any hurt or offense. To approach this type of individual would cause more harm than good. In either case, we may approach God and tell him we forgive the person and he will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we find it impossible to forgive others their shortcomings, them we put God in a position of doing the same with us; not forgiving us OUR shortcomings. He will not forgive us because we refuse to forgive others. Sound strong? We need to see what the Bible has to say about this. In the following scripture, we are taught how to approach God in prayer.

Mark 11:25-26 (AMP) And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop, leve it, let it go, in order that your Father who is in heaven may also forgive you your own failings and shortcomings, and let them drop. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings. 

It is clearly stated in scripture, if we hold grudges or remain angry, with anyone, then God will treat us the same way, holding our failings and shortcoming against us! Not a very pleasant prospect, but God does not expect us to do something he has not already done himself, in Christ, as we see in 

Isaiah 44:22 I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. Isaiah 44:22

Not surprisingly, God has the same attitude for those who have not received salvation in Christ. We read in

Ezekiel 18:21-22 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.

To those who have received salvation, God says,

Hebrews 10:16-17 This is the covenant I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; and their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. 

When we receive forgiveness from our heavenly Father, through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, our slate is wiped clean!

Forgiveness is easily obtained for a believer. 

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The believer confesses and is cleansed. The non-believer is not afforded the same right. Scripture requires the non-believer to believe in their heart and confess with their mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord and they will be forgiven (Romans 10:9-10). By believing in Jesus and confessing him as Savior, they are cleansed from all unrighteousness. Then comes the desire to turn from past sinful practices.

True forgiveness requires us to give the person who wronged or offended us the right to have fellowship with us in a pure, new relationship, not expecting "another incident" to occur. However, the nature of the offense may be such that, before fellowship may be restored, trust must first be restored. I will use a very strong scenario as an example to illustrate what I mean.

Suppose you are beaten by your spouse or your boyfriend. You are required to forgive him. God expects you to forgive him in the same way God has forgiven you your trespasses against him. But you do not have to trust him, or place yourself in a position where you may, again, be beaten.

Forgiveness is automatically extended, but trust is something that is earned. It may be a very long time before he earns your trust. He may never be able to earn your trust again. You may never be able to give yourself to him in the way that you have before. So, while he has the right to have fellowship with you in a pure, new relationship, that fellowship may require a new foundation of trust. So your ability to trust him becomes the prerequisite to his right to a pure relationship. But there are no options with forgiveness. As God forgives, so must his children.

Look and see how important forgiveness is to God. It is not something we can forget about and hope everyone else does the same. Unforgiveness effects everyone who participates in it; spiritually, physically and mentally. Spiritually in your relationship with God; physically with arthritis, alcoholism, drug abuse, aches, pains, etc; mentally with guilt, condemnation and insecurity. How can this be? When we live in a state of unforgiveness, we are giving place to the devil, allowing him to afflict us with his curses. The word of God clearly instructs us in 

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

He can only devour those who are living in disobedience to God's commands.

God gave us provision for forgiveness because he knew we would stumble and fall. Although God has made adequate provision for us to live a sinless life, he knows, all too well, the weaknesses inherent in our human nature. That is why God gave us Jesus as our mediator. 

1 John 2:1  My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

It is to our advantage both to listen and to obey the voice of God, forgive our brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, children and spouses, so we may continue to live in harmony with God. If anyone has anything against a friend, relative, brother, or sister, etc., I urge you to do what scripture instructs us to do: go to him and reconcile your differences. 

Matthew 5:23-24 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there remember that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

And again in 

Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

God is not swayed by your excuses! Many people feel that if they tell God how badly they have been hurt then God will allow them to remain in unforgiveness. "But Lord, you don't know how much he/she/it/they hurt me!" Yes he does! God knows the full extent and depth of your hurt and pain.

Hebrews 4:15  For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 

Do you think this scripture is speaking only of sin or sickness? Infirmities is the inability to produce results. You cannot take away your pain. You cannot remove your disappointment. You need God to do that. God cannot heal the hurt until you are willing to let go of the source of the injury. You must let go of the hot iron before the healing balm will be of any use. Jesus knew hurt and disappointment. Jesus was let down, lied to, betrayed, forgotten, neglected, abused, etc. He always forgave. He always let go of those things that hurt. He always went to his Father for comfort and fellowship.

Not only does God know how badly you were hurt, but he also knows how badly you have hurt him. He knows how deeply your sin has disappointed him. He knows how cruel your unbelief feels. He knows the brutality of your words against him in the past. Yet he is still eager to forgive you of those things. He wants your love and your fellowship more than he wants to hold on to the hurt of your offenses.

Children often give us some of our greatest wisdom. I want to end this article with wisdom and insight direct from the heart of the Father delivered through one of His Innocence.. 
 

A little boy, when asked what is forgiveness, gave this remarkable answer.

"Forgiveness is the smell that flowers give when they are trampled on."

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Copyright © 1989 by Charlotte A. Fry. Published by Promise of Life Ministries. Printed in the United States Of America. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed, transmitted, transcribed, stored in a retrieval system or database, or translated into any human or computer language, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, photocopying, recording, manual, or otherwise, or disclosed to third parties without the express written consent of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review. Making copies of any part of this publication for any purpose other than your own personal use is a violation of United States copyright laws.

You are visitor number

 

Send mail to charla@drfry.com with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright © 1999 Charlotte Fry
Published by  Promise of Life Ministries
All rights reserved.
Last modified: Friday August 18, 2006 01:49:48 PM -0700